My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mom said you looked used
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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