I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
