drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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