Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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