Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
