This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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