Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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