you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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