ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You made out with two different species that night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
