i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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