his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
where are my eyebrows?
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