we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he fucked my hip out of place.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
