Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
