Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
