It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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