Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
