Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
