i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
