I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We talked him into tasing himself.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Boobs are out for the taking
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
