Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
