Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
