You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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