it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
