this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
