I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
