Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize