I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
