yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
birth control should be required to get into college
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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