During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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