How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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