he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
