Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
