She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
