people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
