Are we in a gay sports bar?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
