Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
