weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
