omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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