I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
