I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
