my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
