I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
