Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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