Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
