Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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