I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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