I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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