can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
