Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize