Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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